Six tips I learned (the hard way) about shapewear
From weight training to sit-ups, age and weight management are battling it out
I was stubbornly opposed to wearing shapewear in my twenties. The primary reason was I didn’t really need it. My mother and I had the same body type. When we gained weight, our thighs would get bigger but our waist would pretty much stay the same. As we got older, we both got those pesky jiggly arms (otherwise nicknamed “granny arms”), but I bought a set of 25-pound weights and followed the same weight training routine I had in college. That helped — sorta.
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In my early 30s, it got a little tricky. I distinctly recall wearing a fitted dress to work once, and several people complimented me. A year later, I wore that same dress, and one of the sports writers asked our boss, “Is it offensive to ask if a woman is expecting?” (This was also the same jackass who said, “Who cares if Tubman makes it onto the $20 bill?” I was not a fan of the man. When his group birthday card circulated, I quickly passed it on to the next person.)
Although I wanted to take his baseball cap off and slap him with it for the Tubman comment, he wasn’t wrong about the pregnancy question. I’d started to grow a “pooch belly” — a phrase my grandfather found absolutely hilarious. It’s smaller than a foopa, more like a slight pouch.
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At the time, I was stubbornly determined not to buy shapewear and chose sit-ups and lifting weights. I was also wondering how long I was going to stay in denial about the pooch belly while I grumpily complained that being a vegetarian for then-10 years was a waste if I was going to get a gut anyway. So, I finally went to a department store and bought a couple shapewear apparel that I absolutely hated and promptly returned.
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Here are six lessons I’ve learned about shapewear — even after I somehow got rid of the “pooch belly” at 43. (I expect it to haunt me and return in the winter though. It’s always lurking around, ready to make another appearance.)
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6 lessons about shapewear
1. Don’t get too attached to shapewear if your breasts are still growing.
I thought I was completely done with puberty by college graduation. I’d been a 32C for the entire four years. And then my mother started jokingly calling me “Dolly Parton.” I rolled my eyes at her and ignored the wisecracks. The only problem was I was suddenly spilling out of all of these expensive bras I’d already bought from Victoria’s Secret. She noticed my chest was getting bigger before I did.
I finally went into a Victoria’s Secret store and got a proper fitting. Turns out I’d grown into a 36DD. I tried on that larger bra and instantly felt more comfortable — and to my delight, there was a clearance sale on DD bras. I bought an entire table of them. Each regular price for these 10 bras was about the price of a name-brand T-shirt. I kept returning on clearance days until I had a few weeks’ worth of bras.
For some weird reason, entirely too many shapewear brands don’t take into account top-heavy women. This Mooslover woman makes a solid point. Shapewear can leave a weird dent in the middle of your chest — or you have to buy shapewear that stops just under the waist.
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2. Wear waist-high shapewear around the house first.
If you’re a fan of Wanda Sykes, then you’ve seen her comedy skit about Esther and how her Spanx would roll down. And discreetly fixing rolled-down shapewear is about like fixing an open pants zipper. There is no cool way to do it, and you’ll have to go to a restroom. But if you buy shapewear that actually stays in place — and without crushing your ribs — this is a relief. Just make sure it’s not the kind of shapewear that feels like uncomfortable underwire bras. (Another comedian, Whitney Cummings, described underwire bras as feeling like you’re leaning on a gate. And cheap bras definitely have that gate feeling.)
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3. Find shoulder straps that don’t dig in your skin — or have optional strapless shapewear features.
This gets very tricky for top-heavy women. Just like shapewear can roll down if your pooch belly (or foopa) wins the battle, the same goes for strapless shapewear. Never feel like you must pull your shapewear up over your boobs the entire night. You’ve clearly brought the wrong size. (Some brands recommend going a couple of sizes higher if you wear a C-cup or larger, so the boob area will fit correctly even if it’s a little looser in the waist area.) If you just don’t trust not wearing straps, make sure the material is breathable and not biting into your skin.
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4. Decide ahead of time whether you’re going for a totally different body or a realistic body.
I laughed one time when a co-worker at another job took a photograph of me sitting down at my desk. I was wearing a fitted T-shirt and jeans. If I stood up, no pooch belly. But when I sat down, the pooch belly appeared. My blunt friend said, “Suck it in” to me before he took the photograph. I gave him a thumbs up, kept the same grin on my face and sat up a little straighter. Great pic! And I appreciated that he was honest because I would’ve asked him to take the photograph again if I hated it. It’s not like I wanted to change my shirt or my jeans, but I knew my best angles.
The same rules apply to shapewear. Some people buy shapewear to lift the butt up, squeeze the waist in like Betty Boop and push the chest out. I don’t want any of these body-morphing tricks. I still want the shapewear to look like my natural body but with a slightly sleeker build. I have zero problems in the butt or breast area, so that would just look over the top if I bought shapewear that brought even more attention to it. Know what you will and won’t be comfortable wearing before you buy the first shapewear in your size. You may find that you don’t like these enhancements.
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As an Amazon affiliate, I earn a percentage from purchases with my referral links. I know some consumers are choosing to boycott Amazon for its DEI removal. However, after thinking about this thoroughly, I choose to continue promoting intriguing products from small businesses, women-owned businesses and (specifically) Black-owned businesses who still feature their items on Amazon. All five of my Substack publications now include a MINIMUM of one product sold by a Black-owned business. (I have visited the seller’s official site, not just the Amazon Black-owned logo, to verify this.) If you still choose to boycott, I 100% respect that decision.
5. Take Meagan Good’s advice about wearing something you’re comfortable in.
Years ago, in a magazine article that I’ve completely forgotten the publication date of, Meagan Good said she insisted on never wearing an outfit that you’re not comfortable in. I took that piece of advice and have been using it ever since. No matter how magical you want your shapewear to be, the confidence of that outfit is 99% in your face. If you don’t walk and talk like you enjoy being in this outfit, take it off. Nothing is going to fix that energy but another outfit. And it’s very possible that the outfit you flaunted last month may be a dud this month. Be prepared for a Plan B outfit.
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6. Dance in your shapewear.
I never leave a store without going into a fitting room and dancing in front of the mirror — ever. Why? In college, during that same weight training class, I went from a size 12 to a size 6 within a couple of months, and all of my pants were falling off. A belt didn’t help. I went to a college outdoor party and had to wrap my jacket around my waist. I earned enough money at my part-time job to buy a bunch of new jeans. (It was the bra situation all over again — but earlier.) To make sure my new jeans fit correctly, I started dancing in the fitting room. Twenty-plus years later, I still do this long after I stopped wearing a size 6.
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Dancing is a blast to me anyway. Another reason I dance in retail stores or boutiques is so I can see how the shapewear or the outfit moves when I move. If it’s getting caught under this arm, this leg or riding into your bottom, buy something else. You don’t have to put in a full Chris Brown or Teyana Taylor routine to figure this out. You can “keep it cute” and two step. Whatever dances you would do at whatever event you’re attending, do that dance. If you feel completely uncomfortable and your outfit looks weird while you’re doing the move, find another outfit or find better shapewear. Onlookers should be admiring your moves, not wondering if they should look away so you can get your clothes together.
My morning routine from a size 6 to a size 12 (and everything in between)
Every single day, regardless of what I weigh, I am adamant about doing 10 minutes of meditation and a minimum of 15 minutes of some kind of high-energy exercise routine. Sometimes I’m just dancing around (“Boots On the Ground” anyone?) or learning Kukuwa Fitness moves. Other times it’s pilates, yoga, boring squats, planks and chair poses against a wall. But if you do this long enough, you’ll get to a point where you feel weird not exercising to start your morning. Staying active — along with walking my dog three times each day no matter what the weather is — also does a world of good for my mental health. Get comfortable in your clothes and in your head at all times.
Did you enjoy this post? You’re also welcome to check out my Substack columns “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “BlackTechLogy,” “Homegrown Tales,” “I Do See Color,” “One Black Woman’s Vote” and “Window Shopping” too. Subscribe to this newsletter for the monthly post on the third Thursday. Thanks for reading!